Our Internet who art in heaven
hallowed be thy name
thy kingdom come,
thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread
and forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those who trespass against us
and lead us not into temptation
but deliver us from evil. Amen. - 040310   Positive thinking and positive approach to human being are very important. Especially in health care. Some health care workers have realized it already. They started to rewrite diagnostic results from "negative" to "positive". - 280210.    I am preparing concept of on-line teaching. As right teacher I have started with penalties. The easiest penalty - To write to 100 Facebook friends: "I do not disturb in the virtual classroom, because my fantastic teacher cannot work well. I love our school! Register as well! Our school is not expensive at all and benefits are unparalelled." Moderate penalty - To write 500-times to Twitter: "I do not disturb in the virtual classroom, because my fantastic teacher cannot work well. I love our school! Register as well! Our school is not expensive at all and benefits are unparalelled." The heviest penalty - To write to 100 most popular social networks and microblogs: "I do not disturb in the virtual classroom, because my fantastic teacher cannot work well. I love our school! Register as well! Our school is not expensive at all and benefits are unparalelled." - 270210   I have successfully passed obligatory vehicle safety control. I have similar feeling as after preventive health check-up. Post mortem report: Pacient refused to get autopsy claiming he was quite fit. Conclusion: He was right, and passed away in good health. - 260210   I am feeling spring in the air. (I have washed dishes.) - 200210 NOTE: In Slovakia we have diswasher liquid called Spring.   Believe in yourself, and yourself will help you! - 200210   My lectures are very boring. Sometimes I found myself sleeping during them. - 251109   I am a very obedient citizen and customer and I respect all rules. At the post office, bank and at similar places I maintain discrete distance - especially from myself...130309   We recognize several types of education: preschool, school (primary, secondary), undergraduate, graduate, postgraduate, adult education, third age education and - post mortal education... I am looking forward the most to the last one - I shall have there the biggest amount of attentive students - they will probably not disturb never more... 281008   I know that I know nothing. Therefore I am a teacher. I hope to learn something from my students... 170308   After some time I have slept at the hotel again. First evening I have noticed there is a beer bottle opener. However, opener for the new book packed in the shrink-wrap I could not find... 250407   Mystery of the knowledge management: In the moment you admit you know nothing you have everything needed for your life. Of course, you must not show your ignorance and you must even more vigorously require to know everything from the others... 210107   Softening: perfectionist = has sense of detail; indifferent = his/her patience is admirable - 210107   I buy Slovak products only - bananas, lemons, oranges, mandarines, pine apples... 210107   Today's natural effect: Rainbow from the Bratislava castle and Parliament to the cemetery. What Mother Nature meant by that? - 120107   Knowledge Management: I know that I know nothing, but nobody knows. - 011106   Knowledge Economy: We know that we know nothing and are nothing. 210606   Agony, Agone, Begone, Cegone... 260506   We already have cell phones with computer, camera, video camera, radio, mp3 player, calculator, clock, calendar, games, internet, sms and mms sending ability... I am looking forward to see how producers will bring soon mobile phones good for other useful and important activities - with angling rod, toilet brush, condom, comb, bottle and can opener, shaver, lighter, iron, tourist hatchet, compass, engrafting knife, fire-stick and for extraordinary demanding customers also with fireplace or intelligent tempomat and front, side, knee and head airbags. For further inspiration I recommend merger of producers of mobile phones with producers of multipurpose knives. What I desire the most is compact travelling fitness room; However. I am not able to decide which combination is better: loading barbells with cell phone or knife and nail file - 010506   The art of living is the art of seeing everything from the better side, enjoying the little things and developing positive thinking. From this point of view marketing is substantiation of the art of happy living - stresses only positive sides of the products... It is consumer's business after buying the product to continue on the way towards happiness, convincing himself/herself that the product is excellent although it is maybe not... But that is what selling-buying frenzy is about: To convince you to buy; and when you buy, to convince yourself that you have bought the best possible thing... Otherwise you realize that you have done foolish thing and you are in conflict with yourself... 210406   Meditation and other masters say: "You will be enlightened". My passed away grandmother used to say to those who pouted or disregarded something: "You will be shitted"... In one zen buddhist story master says to his follower that Buddha is in everything - in the crap, too... Consequently to be enlightened and to be covered by other substance is in fact the same. Isn't it? Surely for enlightened! - 270306   Love and friendship are similar to rails. Rails of love have often cross switches, crossings, turntables... They very often touch, cross, intertwine, even knot... Rails of friendship are usually straight, parallel and physically touch in infinity - and this touch is virtual, seen from our perspective... 240306   Once we had written diaries. Today we write blogs. There are slogs, as well - singing blogs - as for instance  Jaromír Nohavica - http://www.nohavica.cz/cz/multimedia/pisnickovy_blog.htm - 240306   Communication after 20-years of marriage - complimentary e-mails and from time to time mutual visiting of web pages and blogs, eventually nervous sms or by mistake sent mms with the picture from date with parallel partner, 120306   Sun is always there - just to see it :) - 110306   As a teacher I modify the saying "Silence helps healing" to "Silence helps teaching and learning" - 110306   I wonder what would McDonalds offer as the country specialty in the cannibal culture state... 250206   We have bought the second small car for our family - for the present as the first one... 250206   I am starting to understand modern technology and fully exploit it - momentarily trying to find symbol SMS on the display of my shaver. They allegedly have sent me the short message and I have not answered... 100206   Theology = reason of faith (religion). Science = faith (religion) in reason. 090206   Time is money! Time is happiness! Happiness that we can be here; to be with somebody or just to be... 051105 (Three days after death of my father.)   When I was younger I had sex appeal. Now they are saying "You have a charisma"... 080205   I cannot understand why majority of gentlemen wash their hands after they used pissoir. In spite of the fact they did not touch anything except their instrument. There are only two explanations - they either piss their hands or they do not wash their little Willie. And maybe also the third one - to look better... We who do not wash hands after this relieving act, we wash thoroughly our instruments and we do not piss ourselves. Anyway, it looks badly - we leave the WC without hand washing! I shall probably start to wash my hands to get some germs from the soap, wash basin and from different "hygienic" apparatuses, and rank myself among educated and tasteful people. - 040205   I start to feel unmistakeable signs of senescence: I am feeling unprecedentely young and am starting to behave like teenager. - 031220   For years I observe several working highbrows - cabmen, ambulance drivers and other drivers in neighbourhood: They have made from the public parking service station; they use to park in such a way that other drivers cannot drive through, even on the lawn... And they permanently mix their cars and cellular phones - they horn if they need to say: "I'm already here! Waiting!" Said less decently: They are saying by horning: "Another member is already here - look out of the window!"... Some years ago one of them even used to horn each morning before five, when he came to take his friend for fishing... Another one uses to come with his ambulance car home for lunch and when leaving back to work switching on the emergency siren to part... Shortly: Nothing like professionalism. Inteligencija baľšája! (In Russian: Big intelligence! - 030624   No idea today. Luckily! - 030622   One gentleman described the journalists as firemen. Firms use to call them when there is something to explain urgently. I  am adding: They forget that many journalists frequently like better to lit the fires - to heat up their goulash, to see themselves in them, to  warm their chilled bodies or at least to lighten their path to fame. - 030214   Home is the notebook, into which I can cry. - 021210   I have got dedicated, continuous and high speed (100 hectolitres per second) connection to the fernet (bitter alcohol beverage). Where? At FSP - Fernet Services Provider - 021206   It is a hell - the Internet - INFERNET! - 021206   The newest greeting - Mail you! - 021206   I have discovered a new soft drugs: Internet and Software - games, attractive computer programmes... 021204   The bumper sticker on the car I drive: "ATTENTION! Danger! I observe the road traffic regulations!" - 021201   Under the socialism - when they started to sell two ply toilet paper - we used to say that copy is for the Central Committee (of the Communist Party). Today - we bourgeois - use four ply and aromatic toilet paper. As we have democracy and 4 parties in the government, each of them may have one ply. Problem is, that I never know to whom to send the - original... 021117   No idea today, again. That is a good joke, isn't it? - 021112   Women, make me up! Fero Taraba - 021012   Blue screen blues - never ending sad song of the Windows users... 020924   Among our internal clients there are also our wives/husbands and children, etc. Let us learn and satisfy  their needs in such a manner as if they were our customers. If we shall not do it they can easily change the "brand" and turn to our competitor... Antlers over the fireplace will come free as special bonus... - 020805   I have seen street-walker with this slogan: "For the post in the government I will satisfy anybody, in whatever manner and anywhere. Party of Democratic Left" - 011218   Slovak Parliament finally approved bill on impotencies (competencies) transfer to self-government...- 010923   Repeating - mother of wisdom. And - slake... 010419   Sex - oral, moral, coral, anal, canal, astral, castral, cadastral, theatral, fiscal, communal, criminal, marginal, bilingual, final, capital, cafeterial... - 010418   In the dark are all cows mad. - 010401   It is a great thing to be a teacher! One has privileged access to knowledge and know-how, which he/she after spreads enlightenly... - 010223   Greeting faux pas - Good Mourning!... - 010124   Socialism in Slovakia lasts II: Western-Slovakian Energy Company, state owned body (read: Monopoly based on our moneys) according their plan switched off the electricity for two hours. The company did not try to inform its customers - neither those who had agreed them to take payments for the electricity directly from their accounts. Even people at the emergency black-out line did not know about it. Question why they did not send an announcement to each customer answered like this: There is a bylaw which demands to post such announcement on the public place... (It was not even there!) Perfect example of the communist customer relations: You are paying us but that is your problem. Try not to pay - we shall cut off electricity! You have no chance. If you want another supplier, buy AAA battery. You can choose: Duracell, Varta, Baterie Slaný... Hurrah, let's run to Europe Albania! Happened on December 5,  2000 at the Bratislava housing estate (super dump) Petržalka. - 001205   Socialism in Slovakia lasts: Everybody has nothing but Metros, Carrefours, Tescos, Trends, Baumaxes, wholesalers´ and retailers´ outlets are completely full. Full of paying visitors. Petrol is more and more expensive but more and more cars congest streets and motorways. Who really do have nothing are only trade unionists, homeless, medicine doctors and some politicians. 001203   Pornobank (Polnobanka = Agribank) - 001118   BREAKING NEWS: Voters in the village Zlatá Lidka demand hand recount of all three ballots in favour of the  early elections in Slovakia.   A big group of voters-pensioners from the Chalm Bič county ask for revote because on the day of referendum they washed, dressed well, and went out from their houses but - forgot what was the reason. It was allegedly because of weak pre-referendum campaign and obstructions of the ruling coalition. VM (Veľký Mág-or / Big Magian), leader of the movement, which voters were mainly support of, backed these demands and stated that in spite of preliminary setback of the referendum he would prepare for the transition because he knew citizens of Slovakia: Those intimidated by shameless ruling coalition demonstrated clearly by not coming to ballot boxes their 99,9-percent support for VM, for the new elections, and political change. "160 million Slovak crowns paid by our tax payers for this referendum we could not use better," he said. "Political education, strengthening of the führher principle, healthy instincts of the mob, and brain washing are the best investments to the future of our beautiful mother land. Is there another way how to get to NATO and European Union?" - 001112   e-bčan - Slovak translation of Netizen - 001019   It scares me stiff when I see continuing opinion polls saying that each third citizen of Slovakia votes for Mečiar and his boys & girls. Basically each third walker in the street, buyer in the shop, driver on the road is afflict... Others vote for Smer, SDKÚ, SMK, SNS, SDĽ, SOP... At the end, the only normal one here is - me. Problem is that everybody thinks the same way: Handicapped are the others... 001014   Demolition Tourism - "Golden" youth fighting against "capitalism", "globalisation", "poverty", etc., and - demolishing Seattle, Washington, Prague..., and adoring Marx, and other historical creatures who add their work to the worst historical mistakes of "socialism" and "communism". They - "Demolition Men" - have not lived in the "real socialism" - WE HAVE! NO, THANKS - NO MORE!!! - 000928   Amateurish translations: Attenzione, peso brutto - Beware of dangerous dog. ("Pes" in Slovak language = dog.)   Attenzione, peso netto - Beware of nice dog. - 000923   Do not knock, and door will open. Rule of the Slovak physician waiting rooms. (There is usually note: "DO NOT KNOCK. WE CALL THE PATIENTS!" - 000921   Anonymous work on Dating vs. Marriage distributed by e-mail - 000916   Arcipresident of the Košice-Bratislava dialysis stated that public media should obligatory - by the law - track each his step. I agree. There should be established STV3 - arcipresident channel-sewer with bars on the one side and sewage plant on the other. - 000605   Example of precisely targeted information: Horning of the driver who has come with his car to drive his friend for fishing at 4.30 in the morning to housing estate with tens of thousands of inhabitants. Although there are also existing doorbells, and phones. It is parallelism for using a TV, and direct mail. - 000603   The newest hit  in my store: 100-percent clear water. Without chemical preservation. Made of concentrate by adding water. Additives: E 000 (H₂O). Energy: 0 kJ/100g. Made in Zaryland. (Customers are crazy after it. We are giving it free of charge. Action! You only join your palms - as if you drink from the spring.) - 000602 (That's a real rock!)   Slovak state owned Telecommunications have bought two cars for more than  6 million Slovak crowns. From our taxes and monopolistic fees - taken from citizens, customers and entrepreneurs. According to controlling authorities, this is OK. But other entrepreneurs cannot add to their costs a god car, and only 85 % of fuel for their company cars can be regarded as legitimate cost. Where do we live, damned?! Ones are living as kings at he expense of the others. - 000524   Communication. Dumb child cannot be understood even by its own mother. But: Crying could be seriously beaten even by its own father. Message: Rather do not complain. - 000429   Learn.

LENIN, LENIN, LENIN - 000428

  Bratislava Crematory loudly announced re-opening of its reconstructed ovens. Recommendation: Superaction - "We shall burn you and your near and dear free of charge. Also those who are alive. Only until the stock limits!" - 000419   Comrade Kakasch voted as a chairman of the congress together with the opposition against his own coalition government, and its chief, and even talked big about it before... Further logical step of comrade Kakasch would be to go back where he has come from... (However, he should stop en route at the Elektra to get instructions.) - 000414   Riddle: Who is the biggest Catholic among communists, and the biggest communist among Catholics? (In Slovakia) You may guess  999 times... - 000407   IMC / IMK - Integrated Meciar Communication / integrovaná mečiarovská komunikácia: verbal + nonverbal aggression + theatres in TV with aggressive body guards and proactive press secretary, public announcements placed - to be secured - through the secretary, and  invocation for resistance. And after entrenchment in his "chalet" with his members of parliament... And everywhere, every time around and inside as well pure half truths, distortions, and lies. Where do we live? In South America? In Africa? No - in the country of unlimited impossibilities: in Slovakia which Comrade Sword  torn off from civilised world, and does not allow it to come back to normal life. - 000331   Spell checking: "carious events" - various events - 101207   "bugger profit" - bigger profit - 060316   "money bag guarantee" -  money back - 031220   ˇ"Public Elations" - 031209   "Shit down, please" - "Sit down, please" - 031117   "Greenpeas" / "Greenpiss" / "Greenpeace" - 010908   "sweat dreams" / "sweet dreams" - 010405   6 mouths" / "6 months" - 000419   wedding / vending machine - 000307   lover / lower income - 000314   last peace / piece - 000314   stackholder / stockholder - 000314   Keying errors: Čauko (Hallo) - Hauko (Small Dog - made by interpretation of Slovak diacritics in e-mail) - 010405   Oral Room of White House - 010321   Roma-Catholic Church - 000528   spolunažúvanie (somárov a iného dobytka)   makaovník (kakaovník skrížený s makovníkom) - 000311   Národná zrada Slovenskej republiky   mimoriadny a splnomocnený veľvysranec   posranec parlamentu   materiál mi posrali e-mailom - 000414   Komunikačná stratégia jeho svätosti prezidenta Bustera je ozaj pozoruhodná. V rámci všeobjímajúceho odpúšťania, "zmierovania", "syntézy" komunizmu s katolicizmom a neviem čoho ešte s čím urobil perfektnú mediálnu kampaň súdruhovi doktorovi Šabliarovi, ktorý už toľkokrát na celej čiare zlyhal. (Referendum launching v prezidentskom paláci!) A národ je stále slepý. A jeho najvyšší predstaviteľ  je jednookým kráľom, ktorý ešte aj to jediné oko prižmúril tak, že už celkom oslepol... - 000218   "20 minút odzadu..." Nie, to nie je porno. Len prosba jedného pána masérovi, aby mu premasíroval chrbát. - 000218   Papier vraj znesie všetko - aj vajce? Analógia: Dnes znesie všetko internet - dôkazom je aj táto pochybná rubrika. - 000218   Tradičný dialóg príslušníkov rodu Žáryovcov s úradmi a inými zapisovateľmi: Meno?   Žáry.   S tvrdým?   S tvrdým... Varianty odpovedí: Jasnačka! (Žáry, ročník 1980)   Spravidla (Žáry, ročník 1950)   Ako kedy (Žáry, ročník 1940)   Občas (Žáry, ročník 1930)   Raz ročne (Žáry, ročník 1890)   Bývavalo (Žáry, ročník 1880)... 000123   "Unknown Zone (Mixed)" - objavilo sa mi v jednom z okienok web browsera, keď som sa neúspešne pripájal na jednu adresu. Veru - neznáma oblasť (miešanina): veď to je náš činžiak. Ani tu nik nikoho nepozná, je tu psí koktail a tiež nik nie je doma. - 000112   Občas neviem, či je "mečiar" odvodený od "meč" alebo "mečať". Ten mekot je totiž často všetko možné len nie profesionalita. - 991228   Som závislý od internetu. Mám už holiaci strojček s displejom. Čakám, kedy sa bude dať pripojiť na web. - 991215   Správa v médiách: "Americké úrady vykostili ruského diplomata". - 991209   Niekoľko poučiek o vzťahu ku klientom: Nikdy telefonicky nevolajte sami svojich klientov.   Ak už svojich klientov voláte alebo oni volajú vás, robte sa, že nerozumiete ich reči.   Ak zistia, že rozumiete tomu, čo vám hovoria, povedzte, že ste smrteľne chorí alebo ste sa stali nešťastnou náhodou invalidom.   Ak vás presvedčia, že ste v poriadku, prerušte okamžite hovor.   Ďalší váš hovor už bude určite len "studeným" hovorom do inej firmy, aby ste zistili, či by nemohla byť vaším klientom... - 991122   Poznámka v žiackej knižke: Za chrbtom sa mi smeje drzo rovno do očí. - 991120   Kondomínium - obytný súbor, kde je zakázané pohybovať sa bez kondómu. - 991019   Preklep: (in)Solventsko, (in)Solventská republika... 991017   Osud úspešného podnikateľa. Delegoval som riadenie firmy na zástupcu, prácu na podriadených, riadenie auta na šoféra, domáce práce na manželku, nákupy na deti, prechádzky na psa. Už len jem, spím a nudím sa. - 991016   Neuskutočnený (zatiaľ) projekt rýchlej a účinnej komunikácie pre neďaleké sklenárstvo. Vhadzovať cez zatvorené okná do bytov tehly, zabalené do plagátika s textom: "Ešte stále si myslíte, že nepotrebujete sklenára? Jesenná akcia! Teraz zasklievame za polovičnú cenu. A priamo vo Vašom byte. Stačí zavolať. Sme tu pre Vás." - 991013   Katastrofa! Ukazovák, ktorý používam na ovládanie myši a písanie - okrem iného - týchto riadkov, ma už začína neznesiteľne bolieť. Čo teraz? Môj počítač ešte slovenčinu pri diktovaní dobre neovláda. Ale vy si možno vydýchnete: Konečne prestane s tými sprostosťami... Len aby! - 991008   Mobil - najlepší prostriedok, ako sa niekomu nedovolať. - 990929   Mobil - najrýchlejší komunikačný nástroj, ktorý vám v zlomku minúty zistí, že ten, koho tak súrne potrebujete, je mimo dosahu... - 990929   Zdá sa mi, že mobilná komunikácia nám úplne zatemnila mozgy. Toľkí sú už mimo dosahu (spravodlivosti), že to začína byť povážlivé. - 990929   Mali sme školenie na používanie supervýťahu, riadeného počítačom. V dôsledku toho som zabudol, ako sa používajú všetky výťahy a chodím už len po schodoch. Počul som, že sa pripravuje kurz používania schodov. Ako sa potom dostanem na naše poschodie?! - 990929   Dnes som vymyslel toľko blbostí, že v najbližších dňoch (hodinách) by som mohol vymyslieť možno aj niečo normálne. - 990929   Nápis na dverách chlapčenského záchoda v Gymnáziu Jura Hronca (1999): "Chalani sú ako hajzle. 1. Je os..tý; 2. Je obsadený; 3. Nefunguje." - 990929   Múdrosť "V najlepšom treba prestať" neplatí pre komunikáciu. Umný komunikátor v najlepšom myslí na - najhoršie a začína sa naň pripravovať. - 990915   Hádanka: Kto vlastní žilinskú reštauráciu U TANKOCH? Možnosti: Ľuptákova svokra, Slota, Bugár. Hlavné menu: halászlé, pörkölt, lángos - 990915   Na slovenských cestách - a najmä v Bratislave - mám neraz pocit viny debila, neschopného prispôsobiť sa všeobecnej nedisciplinovanosti. Neraz vari jediný dodržiavam rýchlosti, zastávam na križovatkách už na oranžovú, rešpektujem čiary na ceste, dávam prednosť chodcom, ktorí chcú prejsť po priechode... Tu sa už nemôžete spoľahnúť na žiadne pravidlá. Sme naozaj krajina neobmedzených možností. Spôsobuje to stádo odtrhnuté z reťaze, ktorému dávajú pastieri zlý signál. Niekam sa valí maximálnou rýchlosťou - a samo nevie, kam... - 990908   Počas historického zatmenia Slnca 11. augusta t.r. sa v anglických a amerických médiach písalo a hovorilo o "úzkom páse totality"; odtiaľ bolo viditeľné úplné zatmenie. Toto úplné zatmenie - pre nás návrat k totalitnej temnote - trvalo 2 minúty. Našťastie! Myslím, že aj to stačilo. Neviem však, či všetkým... 990829   Zasa nemám žiadny nápad - ako ľahko sa chodí s prázdnou hlavou... - 990829   Vo výťahu máme tabuľku: "V prípade poruchy výťah automaticky zíde na najnižšie poschodie". To zrejme štylizoval nejaký komunikačný poradca ("spindoktor"). V normálnej reči to značí: keď sa výťah pokazí, spadne... Odporúčanie na tabuľky pre letecké spoločnosti: "V prípade poruchy sa lietadlo automaticky vráti na zem"... - 990809   Ešte dobre, že dnes ponúkol demisiu minister dopravy, pôšt a telekomunikácii. Ak by nebol ponúkol, prišili by mu možno ešte aj stredajšie zatmenie slnka. - 990809   Ak slnečné zatmenie 11. augusta 1999 bude naozaj znamenať koniec sveta, musím konštatovať, že z hľadiska komunikácie sme to nezvládli. Začať teraz lobovať je už neskoro! - 990809   V stredu 11. augusta - počas zatmenia Slnca - máme cestovať na dovolenku. Uvidíme (uvidíme?), kam doletíme. Či - poletíme? - 990809   Neviem, prečo ešte horlivci za čistú energiu nenabádajú vlády využívať sexuálnu energiu. Patrí predsa medzi veľmi (dnes už aj vďaka liekom) rýchlo obnoviteľné energetické zdroje. - 990809   "Daň z odobranej hodnoty (DOH) by mal štát vyberať od tých, ktorých pokutuje napríklad polícia" - vymyslel môj starší syn Ondrej. - 990722   Nápis na odznaku (buttone) v hračkárskom obchode v Jacksonville (FL, USA): "Chcel som sa narodiť znovu, ale moja mama nechcela". - 990613   Hodina slovenčiny. Preberá sa vnútorný monológ. Pani učiteľka žiada žiakov, aby predniesli svoj vnútorný monológ. Kumiš ho nahlas prednesie a - dostáva návrh na trojku zo správania... - 990327   Etiópčania hovorievajú: "Človek, ktorý nemá somára, je somár". A čo somári, ktorí majú nielen somára, ale aj autá a iné pohybovadlá? Je pravda, nemusia všetko vláčiť ako somáre, isté duševné danosti im však zostávajú... - 990327   V dnešných preplnených centrách miest je nevyhnutné mať auto. Inak by ste sa nemali na čo vyhovoriť, keď zas prídete niekam neskoro. - 990303   Fenomén novej doby: Babke je smutno - pošlime jej e-mail... - 990303   980711: Paradox postkomunistického húskizmu-lexizmu-mečiarizmu: Pamäť do počítačov je čoraz lacnejšia a dokonalejšia - historická pamäť čoraz drahšia a poruchovejšia... Vtedy som ešte netušil, že Lexa sa ozaj premení na Marxa-Engelsa. Už zapustil aj bradu. (Pravdepodobne má aj - kapitál...) ((V každom prípade to je kapitálny - kus...)) - 990216   Ponúkam vláde (bezplatne) námet na ďalší balíček - fyziologických opatrení. T.j. opatrenia, ako grgať s prázdnym žalúdkom; ako kakať, keď už nebude čo; ako ondiať na všetko... - 990216   Kto chce psa biť, palicu si nájde. Analogicky: Ak chcú Windows spadnúť (bez ohľadu na verziu), dôvod si nájdu (aj keby neexistoval). - 990216   Hľadal som v internete IPRA - International Public Relations Association - ktorá stále mení svoju adresu. Našiel som: IPRA - International Professional Rodeo Association... Veru, profesionálni komunikátori si musia dať pozor, aby ich nezaradili medzi tých, čo tu robia ródeo... Organizáciu už máme. 990107   Súdruhovia, bankári slovenskí, garantujem vám, že za takých podmienok, aké ponúkate na bankové garancie, vám nezaplatím za garanciu ani halier! 981227   Inovovaná reklama pre denník Slovenská Republika: Noviny, v ktorých nájdete - svoje najhoršie stránky... 981003   Naše WC je obľúbeným rodinným komunikačným centrom. Máme tam rádio, časopisy a knihy na čítanie, učebničky jazykov, poznámkový papier a písadlo. Cez vetrák počuť (a cítiť), čo robia a hovoria susedia. Je to aj frekventovaná - najmä ráno - dopravná tepna v byte, večne preplnená a s nebezpečnými kolíziami... Chýba tam však počítač a prístup na internet! Aby sme ihneď ako niečo vyprodukujeme, mohli to odoslať na web... (na adresu wcc) - 980905   Paradox postkomunistického húskizmu-lexizmu-mečiarizmu: Pamäť do počítačov je čoraz lacnejšia a dokonalejšia - historická pamäť čoraz drahšia a poruchovejšia. - 980711   X-tý dodatok k Murphyho zákonom: Motherboard počítača sa zlomí až po vtlačení poslednej karty. - 980711   Rozhodol som sa zomrieť zdravý a čo najskôr. Začal som zdravo žiť a športovať. - 980711   Silicon Valley - údolie medzi silikónovými kopčekmi... - 980709   Jeden môj smenársky kolega to pred rokmi nazýval híkaním somárov. Vtedy som sa trochu neveriacky uškieral. Už tomu rozumiem celkom dobre. Už aj mne lezie na nervy neprestajne v určitých intervaloch sa opakujúce neinformované a nepremyslené objavovanie dávno objaveného, nadchýnanie sa "novotami", ktoré sú "in", hoci sú už "out". - 980705   Windows 98 a počítač IBM - to je ako päsť na oko. Nie a nie si rozumieť. Nech mi oba giganty Microsoft aj IBM odpustia. Začínam chápať národniarov: Radšej slovenskú krištáľku - ale bez problémov s hardvérom i softvérom! - 980705   Občan má právo na dobrý imidž krajiny, v ktorej žije a riadne platí dane. Tí, čo to nechápu, nemajú právo vládnuť. - 980627   Zle načasovaná komunikácia je ako pisoár na dámskej toalete. - 980627   Dnes nemám žiadne nápady - aspoň si nikoho neznepriatelím... - 980412   Čím menej miesta máte na disku, tým viacej vám ho chcú softvérové spoločnosti zaplniť svojimi produktmi. - 980131   - Hurá, zasa nám pekne odbudlo z propagačných materiálov. Je o ne záujem!
- Áno - v škole mali zber papiera... - 980120   Kde je najvyšší súd SR? Na Gerlachu. - 980110   Preklepy sprostej klávesnice: Republic Relations - Čo je to? Pýta sa koalícia aj opozícia. - 980103 (Public) Felations - V slovníku to nenájdete, ale v Káma Sútre v slovenskej (?) podobe áno. - 980103   Ak stojíte, držte sa. Ak vám stojí, držte si ho. - reedícia zo 70. rokov   Ďalší Murphyho (?) zákon: To najhoršie, čo vo vás je, sa určite prejaví vtedy a tam, kedy a kde to najmenej potrebujete a očakávate. Faux pas je vo vás... - 980103   Nestačí, ak je niečo ekonomickô a ekologickô (a nedajboh aj demokratickô). Musí to byť hlavne slovenskô (aj keď len zdanlivo/ô...). - 980103

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© Copyright Ivan Žáry 1997-2019: Reprodukcia na nekomerčné účely povolená za predpokladu uvedenia zdroja.